Alpine Mummy

A new life in the middle of nowhere


1 Comment

Spreading the Alpine Mummy Word

This lovely blogger is sharing the Alpine Mummy love and is worth a read. Basically, to sum up, she lists many fabulous tips on how to get hiking with kids, and then links to the wonderful Alpine Mummy to demonstrate how HILARIOUS it is when it all goes wrong.

I appear to be getting myself a reputation for oh-so-amusing mountainous cock-ups (and not the mountain Mummy/goddess that I want to be in my mind).  I’m just gonna roll with that…

Check this out; very useful (unlike my posts!):

Family Hikes – tips for hiking with small children

 

Advertisements


5 Comments

Only as Good as Your Latest Success (or: Alpine Mummy Learns Not to be Smug)

A couple of months ago, nearly three years to the day since we took our first hike as a family of five, we finally saw a tiny glimmer of light at the end of that baby-carrying tunnel.

Since moving to the mountains five years ago, we had never gone for a hike without at least one child on at least one of our backs. And a bag (or few) full of STUFF.

Climbing every mountain, fording every stream… the hills were alive but the going was slow, what with the increasing number of kilos strapped to us.

IMG_1682

Bag ‘n’ Baby – Apline Mummy the Packhorse

Continue reading


3 Comments

All New Boots and No Trousers

When Alpine Boy was born I was starry-eyed and naive. It was only months and even years later that I started to realise I’d missed a trick, when other mums would casually query what present Alpine Papa had got me for giving birth.

“Eh?!” I’d respond, before finally noticing those enormous hunks of diamonds  painfully weighing down their earlobes. Apparently that’s what other husbands buy you for harbouring an ever-growing being inside you for nine months and then pushing it out of somewhere delicate (and never-quite-stretchy-enough).

I got bugger all.

(Apart from this little beauty…)

Continue reading


3 Comments

Introducing… “Alpine Mummy’s Hikes With Kids”

When we moved to The Middle of Nowhere in 2012, it didn’t take me long to work out there wasn’t much in the way of ‘entertainment’ for the kids (Alpine Boy then aged three and a half; Alpine Girl six weeks).

No soft play centres?!? No baby cinema?!? Bugger, now what?!

Answer?  Hills.  Lots of ’em.

image Continue reading


3 Comments

Broken…

I’m going to have to keep this short (hush there, with your loud sighs of relief, please), as I’m typing one-handed.

This is not because I’m changing a nappy or wiping noses at the same time (for once). Nor is it because I’m shoveling snow or chopping logs or training wild boars to pull a sledge full of children (all of which form daily part of my Alpine life. Honest).

Not even because I’m stuffing my face with chocolate. Even though I am.

No, I’m writing this post with only five of the ten typing fingers I am usually blessed with, because I’ve only gone and broken my bloody wrist.

image

Continue reading


Leave a comment

The Traumatic Incident of the Tooth in Daytime

I popped into the dentist for a quick root canal this morning. And was in the chair for TWO AND A HALF HOURS.

If you need a lesson for your kids to get them to brush their teeth, let this be it. I have been left traumatised, abused, and depressed. And my mouth is still so sore, 8 hours after the event, that I can hardly force my wine down. Exactly. It is BAD.

image

(Photo credit Little Shop of Horrors)

Continue reading


4 Comments

Alpine Mummy’s celebrity interview

Ever wondered why Alpine Mummy is actually in the middle of nowhere, and not working her way up the corporate ladder in good old London…?

Ever wondered what she’s thinking when signing off yet more orders for paperclips?

Ever wonder what life is really like as an expat in the French mountains, with dog poo and bureaucracy galore?

Wonder no more!

For all the juicy details (kind of), check out this candid and exclusive interview for the fantastic Multicoolty.com.  Forget Hello, Vogue, or Paris Match – this is where it’s at!

The perfect combination

image