Alpine Mummy

A new life in the middle of nowhere


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Stress, Alpine Mummy style

Life is a little bit stressful at the moment for Alpine Mummy.  But don’t worry, being forever on the verge of a nervous breakdown makes for good reading (I hope!).

I’ve told you all about my ridiculous commute – over 1 hour 45 minutes each way, each day.  (Sorry to go on about it but it’s taking over my life!  And anyway, my friend, who had a similar if not worse commute, says the distance involved entitles me to whinge about it for the rest of my days.  So I intend to.)

But there’s an end in sight – we’re moving house.  On 6th January.  Of course – would you expect anything else from Alpine Mummy?  Moving house is apparently one of the most stressful things you can do, along with giving up your career to start a new job in a new town in a new country in a new language – and so we decide to do them both at once.  At Christmas time.  Yup._MG_5002 Continue reading


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Here there’s always cake

 A little ditty for Alpine Papa, to explain why the house is always so chaotic when he comes home from work, and why our waistlines are ever-increasing…

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The nine circles of hell (otherwise known as… pregnancy)

 As Alpine Papa will attest, I am not very good at being pregnant.  Not at all. 

You know those people who glow their way through pregnancy like a sunbeam, with nothing to slow them down except too much damn gushing about how they “luuuurve being pregnant” and “isn’t it amaaaaaazing”?  That’s not me.  Not at all.

Don't get confused - that's a sunbeam, that is, it's not me...

Don’t get confused – that’s a sunbeam, that is, it’s not me…

Alpine Papa is no help.  I don’t think he believes any of the suffering I am genuinely going through to bring this beautiful new life into the world.  In fact, when I moan (admittedly for the 40th time that day) about how crap being preggars is, he immediately takes great delight in pointing out how desperately I wanted to be pregnant each time, and how I would whine any time anyone I knew would dare get pregnant before me.  “Ooooh , it’s not fair”, he mocks (apparently that’s how I talk).  “So-and-so is pregnant, how come I’m not pregnant? I want to be pregnant. It’s not faaaaaaaair.  Why can’t I be pregnant? I want to be pregnant!”.

I would like to point out, though, that he is wrong.  Very.  I have never said “I want to be pregnant”, or moaned about not being. I have often whined about the fact that I want another baby and I want it now.  But that’s entirely different.  I have never had any desire to be pregnant. Why would I? It’s rubbish.

Hell in fact.  Nine months of hell.  Must have been what Dante had in mind.  Here are my nine circles of hell:

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Top 5 Alpine Mummy moments

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Oh dear.  It’s been ages, hasn’t it?  Over a month in fact, since my last post.  And it was going so well!  (But don’t say I didn’t warn you – quote:  Not sure how long the blog will last (I was never very good at Dear Diary when I was younger…) and I’m sure it won’t be that interesting, but here goes!”.)

So, I hope you all missed me?!  My inbox has been inundated with concerned inquiries about where I might be and when I’m going to start blogging again (ahem).  So I’m feeling a bit of pressure here – perhaps you’re all expecting stories about how I’ve been wrestling wild wolves in the mountains; or how I’ve been lost in 2 metre-high snowdrifts having trekked back from the chocolate shop in a snowstorm; or how I’ve been cross-country ski-ing my way through the Alps with just a baguette in my bag and a baby on my back.

Sorry.  Nothing so exciting has been keeping me from my updates.  I’ve just lost the habit.  And not much has been going on really, so the habit stayed lost.  And when something interesting did happen I was usually up to my neck in pooey nappies or snotty tissues and so never found the time to write.

So I’ve decided to do a Top 5 things that have happened in Alpine Mummy’s life over the last two months post.  Catchy title, no?

So, here you are, pop-pickers, in at number 5:

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A moment of Epiphany. With cake.

It turns out that a lot of European traditions are very similar, albeit with certain national differences.  I like that about the world – we’re all the same, really, we just pretend we’re not…

Anyway, a fellow expat blogger, Piglet in Portugal, posted recently about Boli Rei, which turns out to be pretty much the same idea as the French Galette des Rois – a tasty cake to mark Epiphany on 6 January.  Any tradition involving cake is a good thing in my book.  Hhhmmmm, cake….   Continue reading