Alpine Mummy

A new life in the middle of nowhere


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Stop debating. Just be good.

The other day I was sitting in a park, on my own, daydreaming. As you do.

Well, no, not really as I do. Having three kids and a job and all (did I ever mention that?!), I find little time to sit daydreaming in the sun, with a good book and a coffee in my hand. But it was lunchtime on a workday, the kids were miles away, and I had managed to sneak out of the office for a whole hour, to sit in the sun with a good book and a coffee in my hand. Luxury.

Ray of light

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Secrets and lies

The other night I awoke to strange whisperings coming from Alpine Boy’s room. Pulling my ratty dressing gown around me I shuffled to his bedroom door, and was amazed to hear the following coming from within.

Now it all makes sense… every last bit.

I jotted it down, word for word, to pass on to other parents who, like me, are at the end of their tether and wondering why their kids are such brats. Here it is, take note; now the secret’s out, parenting will be a piece of cake…

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Eat, Poo, Love

Well Alpine Baby is here! Our beautiful girl made her way into the world at the end of March, bringing with her a sense of family completeness, total happiness, and constant sleeplessness.

She’s already a true Daddy’s Girl – with a headful of dark brown hair she looks nothing like me or either of my other children, and I’m constantly waiting to be stopped in the street and accused of kidnapping her whenever Alpine Papa’s not with us.

 alpinebaby

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Top 5 Alpine Mummy moments

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Oh dear.  It’s been ages, hasn’t it?  Over a month in fact, since my last post.  And it was going so well!  (But don’t say I didn’t warn you – quote:  Not sure how long the blog will last (I was never very good at Dear Diary when I was younger…) and I’m sure it won’t be that interesting, but here goes!”.)

So, I hope you all missed me?!  My inbox has been inundated with concerned inquiries about where I might be and when I’m going to start blogging again (ahem).  So I’m feeling a bit of pressure here – perhaps you’re all expecting stories about how I’ve been wrestling wild wolves in the mountains; or how I’ve been lost in 2 metre-high snowdrifts having trekked back from the chocolate shop in a snowstorm; or how I’ve been cross-country ski-ing my way through the Alps with just a baguette in my bag and a baby on my back.

Sorry.  Nothing so exciting has been keeping me from my updates.  I’ve just lost the habit.  And not much has been going on really, so the habit stayed lost.  And when something interesting did happen I was usually up to my neck in pooey nappies or snotty tissues and so never found the time to write.

So I’ve decided to do a Top 5 things that have happened in Alpine Mummy’s life over the last two months post.  Catchy title, no?

So, here you are, pop-pickers, in at number 5:

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Sleep. Or not.

Alpine Boy never slept through the night when he was little  (or at least not when it was my turn to get up during the night.  Imagine my joy when he starting sleeping through at six months.  Just when I went back to work, leaving Alpine Papa in charge of night-time feeds.  Of which there were none. Bah).  I assumed the same would be true for Alpine Girl, so was rather excited to discover that this one sleeps!  All the time!  Right from the start she was only waking up once a night, and as soon as we moved here she would sleep right through until 6.00 or 7.00am – my dream baby, excuse the pun (I am particularly fond of sleep, and have been all my life, as my family will attest).

So those occasions where Alpine Girl does in fact wake up in the middle of the night are an immense shock to the system.  Being violently woken up by screaming at 2.00 am is like being dragged out of a whirlpool by your hair – painful, noisy, you can’t open your eyes, and you just keep getting sucked back down.

And on top of that, we’re trying to get Alpine Boy to sleep without a nappy.  Which isn’t really working.  So last night went something like this: Continue reading